Anger is one of the most hated emotions (ironically) in the world. Anger is usually associated with negative actions and behavior, which can be prompted by the emotion and mental health conditions. For this reason, many people will feel judgment arise when they start to feel angry at someone or something.
Did you know that feeling angry is actually good for you? The actions you take when you’re angry have the basis in whether or not you are being healthy for yourself and others.
Here are five reasons why it is good to feel your anger.
You Were Wronged
Anger usually comes up because you feel that you were wronged or someone you care about or love was wronged. Anger can also come up as a secondary response to other emotions like fear or stress. In fact, people can feel anger as a secondary emotion to all of the following emotions:
Although anger is always valid, there’s a reason behind your angry feelings, and it’s essential to look into it. If you were genuinely wronged by someone, yourself, society, or a group of people, it makes sense to feel angry. Feeling angry at those who wronged you can help keep you out of their circle and help you move on.
If you suppress your anger at someone who wronged you, you may end up allowing them to violate your boundaries and hurt you again. Again, it’s important to remember that feeling angry doesn’t give you the right to hurt someone back.
Suppressing Emotions is Bad for You
All emotions are meant to be felt. We often block our feelings out in an effort to fit a societal or personal standard that has been taught to us through our lives, perhaps in our childhood.
If you find yourself judging your anger and telling it to go away, ask yourself why. What does anger mean to you? Does the emotion of anger remind you of any of the following?
- Abusive people
- Someone who hurt you emotionally or physically while angry
- Being told to stop feeling your emotions
- Having to take care of everyone else as a child
For many people, judging anger and ignoring it is easier than facing the fear of feeling an uncomfortable emotion, even if it is important.
When you suppress emotions for a long time, it can actually cause worsening anger, sadness, stress, and anxiety. Facing your feelings and dealing with them healthily allows you to:
- Validate yourself
- Know that you can feel angry and not hurt yourself or others
- Understand the emotion
- Understand if you’ve been wronged
Anger Doesn’t Go Away Without Validation
Often, anger and other challenging emotions do not disappear if we ignore them. You have a reason for being angry, whether you think it is valid or not. You may find this emotion come up in the future in an unrelated scenario if you’re not able to allow yourself the chance to process the feeling.
If you’re having difficulty getting past your anger, you may need to speak to a therapist. Therapists are trained in coping mechanisms that can help you calm down, think through your anger, validate yourself, and make good choices in your behavior. DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) is an excellent therapy module for those who struggle with anger.
Emotions Send Us a Message
Remember that you are angry for a reason. Even if you are angry as a secondary reaction, you may be actually quite sad about something and reacting out of anger as a judgment to your sadness or as a response to not feeling safe.
Like animals, humans lash out when feeling threatened. Even if we feel emotionally threatened, we may explode in a burst of rage that scares us, even if we’re just scared. It’s essential to learn how to identify your genuine emotions and motives behind them so that you can work on healing them.
Your Actions Are What Count
In the end, your actions are what counts when it comes to anger. You are in control of yourself, and you can make the choices to deal with your anger healthily. You can feel extraordinarily rageful and still not do something that goes against your values. It’s not always black and white.
For those who feel urges to yell, scream, cry, or even physically hurt themselves or others, know that you’re not alone. However, if you are feeling an urge to hurt yourself or others, reach out to emergency services in your area. If you are having a crisis, you can text the crisis text line by texting HOME to 741741.
If you are feeling suicidal and need someone to talk to, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is available 24/7 to help you. You can call them at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Reaching out for help is a step in acknowledging your anger and turning it into a more comfortable emotion.